last updated July 8, 2007 4:12 PM

Notes from the Beast

June 30- Check-in Day

Riders are beginning to trickle in to rally HQ. Today is a social day here at the Beast; tomorrow is all business and by Monday, game on. Our resident gimp is getting along nicely. He's handling the man-bags and necklace distribution - not sure what that means, just ask him.

Nearly 2/3 of the field is expected for this evening's festivities. Rallymaster Gary has been explaining the nuances of Google groups and email distribution lists while Scott is frowning at the term "man bag." Riders are engaged in their paperwork and odometer checks. Gary has set up a 1000 mile odo check; we strive for accuracy.

Scott is also annoyingly taking photos of everyone catching them in odd poses and the like. We hope to get these posted to the web site in the near future. uh oh, the bar just opened.

-rcm

July 1 - Day Zero. A peak into the cave

I suspect the carnage left in the hotel bar will only be out done by the way this field will carve up bonus locations. Several riders have ridden over 1000 miles just to get here- most in less than a day. Shocking, I tell you shocking. We have several riders left to check-in. Both our 2-ups are here; brave and sturdy souls that ride 2-up.

Riders will get their first peak into the beast's lair at the afternoon riders meeting.

The first meeting brings Route Sheets A&D, but no flags. Hmm. That doesn't seem quite right. We got Route C on the web site a few weeks ago. Is it possible there are FOUR route sheets on the first leg? hmmmmmm. On top of that, rallymasters were forbidden to answer questions about the route sheets until the later meeting. Hmmmm. I wonder what this means? Why would we do that? Only time will tell.

Route Sheet A is a list of all 29 capitals east of the Mississippi, with progressive values for the number obtained. Riders may choose to skip the checkpoint, after notifying the rallymasters of course, and collect all 29 capitals. Route D seems to be a motley collection of bonuses close to the base route, all near or on questionable road surfaces, most with disappointing values, except for a few in Maine and two well south of the start line.

At dinner, Route B was handed out with the rally flags. This set has a divergent bunch of locations, nowhere near the base route, but worth some hefty points. Rider scuttlebutt is the 29 capital option is "undoable". Knowing this group, nothing is undoable. The perfect route for the capitals is just over 6100 miles; there is plenty of time to get them all by Friday at 2, provided most breaks go the rider's way. Staff has odds on favorites for other routing choices, but feel the better scoring route will not be selected on this leg, unless the riders stretch their minds a tad.

It was repeatedly drilled into everyone's head to the point of nausea that rally flags must appear in all photos and what the scorers expect to see on both receipts and photos. Samples were handed out. When in doubt, write it down. Staff also has a friendly wager that at least 2 riders will manage to screw this up at some point.

There were a ton of good questions at the dinner meeting; these riders are bright. In the official 2 hour question period, scant few took the opportunity to inquire, but the one that took us by surprise was the mention, or the lack of mention of the use of dirt roads in directions or descriptions of the bonus location. "How will we know it is a dirt road?" the rider asked. "As soon as the front wheel hits it, you'll know." was the official reply. Several riders have already figured out or know firsthand that some locations are on dirt roads.

-rcm

July 2 Day One. The Beast arises from its slumber

4am will come awful quick for the riders and staff. As I write this, it is nearly 3am. The hotel will be a cacophony of Screaming Meanies in the next 20 minutes or so. Then, after the morning meeting, riders will head their separate ways together into the pre-dawn gloom. What will the Beast bring? Stay tuned.

30 riders and their mounts, including the 2 2-up teams, are official starters. Most will be part of the re assemblage at Two Jacks on Tuesday afternoon. Sadly, I can not be there due to work commitments. I must also miss the start. However, this sadness does bring some joy or relief actually. This commitment increases my chances to make it to St Louis for the big dance in August. Things might still happen, but the odds have increased dramatically with this small sacrifice. So for the next few days, I'll be rallymaster vicariously through the eyes and ears of others.

A quick glance at the "route declare" forms hints at the dilemma the riders faced. Several have opted to try the "undoable" and have claimed all 29 capitals. We wish them well and good luck. Most have opted for Route D, aka the Dirt Bike Route. We suspect a few of those that chose D will be quite surprised when they attempt those first few locations. Wilkes Barre awaits tomorrow so stay tuned.

-rcm

Okay - I am winning the popular rallymaster contest even though my number is listed last. Here is the latest over the course of the past 2 hours - it is now 8:11 pm.

Bob Torter called to tell us what a great bonus and ride into Assawoman, VA (D-18) it was. He was genuinely pleased he went and really is enjoying himself despite others who rattled off a list of reasons they were not going there - of which he has been unable to validate a single reason given as to why not to go. Minimal traffic, great weather, cool breeze off the causeway, great scenery. He and Sylvie are ahead of planned schedule and are getting a good meal while they plan more points with the laptop. He referenced the three bikes he saw topple en route to Isaac Haynes cemetery plot (D-16). Not to be out done he took his 2-up BMW into the fray and passed those that were down only to topple himself. The collective group assisted each other in righting bikes and continued on.

While riders tend to slightly exaggerate the situations they encounter (which is how great rally stories are really made) Bob's tale was confirmed by Steve Branner who called to report he lost his rally flag. Steve was told that to the best of my knowledge there were no penalty points for losing his rally flag and that he needed to make sure his face was in ALL rally pictures from here on out to earn points. [editor- yup, that was covered at the riders' meeting]

Not 15 minutes (no shit, 15 minutes - or less even) I received a call from Al Ladner #23) who too lost his flag!! Al took it a lot harder than Steve as Al thought he was done for the rally - when I informed him in fact that he was not done and to get his game face back on that all he needed was his face in all bonus pictures to earn points you could hear the skip in his step pick up as he reengaged the rally mode and was ready to press on.

A rider had to withdraw due to family emergency. We wish him and his family well.

Andy Kirby is pissed that we sent them over sand.[editors note- we didn't send riders anywhere. they went of their own free will and for the points. Scott thinks we should have called Route D, Route D^2, for Dirt, Dumbass].

To clarify - there are NO reported injuries, no damage to bikes, some disgruntled riders, bruised egos, sand filled boots but that is all...

I think we will be getting fewer Christmas cards this year ;^)

Scott

July 3, Day Two. The Beast is mildly annoyed

Bill Wade called in last evening to inform us that we is having electrical issues with his bike. He may or may not make the check point on this or another bike. We'll know closer to checkpoint time.

On a mildly annoying note, for the riders at least, the "patrol car" is back. No Excursion/Expedition issues this time. However, Todd has parked it in his yard. No big deal i hear you say. Thoughfully, Todd took a picture of what the riders will face. Wait for it...(drumroll please).

Those are "No Tresspassing" signs along the cul de sac. Now, in the daylight, you can clearly see the "patrol car"; probably photograph it too. Todd, ever helpful, has placed a small plastic child's toy police car (probably says he borrowed it from Karen's twins, but odds are it's actually his) and placed it by the mailbox with this sign. "This isnt a real patrol car. It's a toy.. Now get off my DAMN lawn biker scum."

More later, off to work and the remainder of the RM are on their way to the checkpoint. -rcm

Jim Peterson (#24) has called in DNF due to the flu. He said despite being 2.5 hours behind schedule and sick as a dog, he was having a blast. Al Ladner #23 now has a puncture that even a dealer cant repair. They don't have a tire in stock and the local shops dont either. He's stuck there until 7/5, so he called in DNF. This brings our total to 4 with Rick Dolata's tale of woe (lost rally book, flag, etc) and decided to pack it in for this rally. We hope to see most of them at the banquet on Friday. Al plans to join the staff Thursday evening in the hotel bar. Bill Wade chased down the electrical gremlins and is back under full power, cruising into the Checkpoint down, but not out..

Every rider is accounted for; 24 riders made it to the check point at Two Jacks. 2 riders are still pursuing the all 29 capital option, but have dissolved the team.

Preliminary Standings at the Checkpoint:

Dave Derrick, Jim Owen, Dick Peek with Nick Emery 2 points behind him. The Torters fell victim to the missing paperwork penalty but are still in the game. Reports from the "Patrol Car" bonus is that most riders did indeed trespass to obtain the bonus, although the Kappenbergers asked permission first (I guess that's not trespassing). The Patrol Car is on Leg 2, so Mr Witte & co should be seeing the riders shortly- those that are heading south at least.

Three route sheets were handed out for Leg 2: Route C (which the riders had the data for), E (everything else) and F (for shit's sake, not all 29 capitals again, but the progression starts at a higher point than on Leg 1). C has three really big bonus locations: Sauk Rapids for a picture with some pigs, Venice, LA and Stafford, VA which is time restricted for the 4th, only 2 of which are realistically obtainable. E has several large bonus locations, the largest of which is Key West's Southernmost Point Marker. The staff has pegged this one as a sucker's bonus since it's almost and all or nothing trip (nothing really along the way or back), so we'll see how many riders bite.

Another significant bonus is a BBQ at Scott's house tomorrow afternoon; all three route sheets have it, with varying values. There are also significant values on Route E for cruising lower New England, a visit to Renoyld's Powersports in Buxton (the traditional IBR Checkpoint) as well as the upper midwest (Wisconsin, and Michigan). Riders can also the Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ as well as take a ride on OH-26 for about 40 miles. We'll know more on Thursday night and Friday morning after the timed bonuses have been cleared.

-rcm

From the Patrol Car bonus:

Around 8:30 ish pm 4 riders approached.

The one, cop from Baltimore waited patiently and watched the three musketeers riding together, bmw, fjr, HD roadking to claim their bonus. Seems as though there was some confusion as to what a police car was.

They actually walked towards the Porsche with the stars on the side and hood.
Duh!

And these guys have driver's licenses?????
And you let them in the rally???????
Anyways, nice chat with them they asked directions to the closest hotel, so of course I sent them to Lancaster. LOL. Seriously told them to go to rt 30 and stay at any 1 of the 6 located within walking distance of round the clock diner.

.

Thanks again, its been a real relief from the twinkies to see ironbutters again. I just wish they could have come into the bar for drinks.....I know that wouldn't have been a good idea.....well except for the harley rider, that would be expected, this is just like a poker run for him. I would have served the rest milk. :)
--Todd

July 4, Day Three. Our Nation's birthday. The Beast is feeling patriotic, but still annoyed.

Prelim Scores from Leg 1.

More from the WitteWonderland Christmas Patrol Zone

1:07 pm

Rider # 32 - Last rider? Don't know but what a nice lady. Donna looks as though she is having just the best of time in her quest towards the state capitals bonus list. Oh and she is form Minnesota. Wow home of the great Minn 1000 and Team Strange. Hey Team Strange. We chatted for a few minutes then Karen & the twinkies requested my presence in the bus to go get groceries.

For god's sake would someone PLEASE tell these riders they don't get half undressed and they don't turn off their motorcycle just to walk across the yard and take a photo. This should be in rider's meeting discussion forum. Just think of the extra bonus or two they won't obtain because they worried about how their hair looked for the camera or the discussion that the 3 musketteers had last night on lodging. Like a famous commercial once said, "Just Do It".

Hopefully our paths will cross again, and if they do, just look over in the sidecar hooked up to the Harley. Might just be 1 or 2 of them little twinkies sitting over there watchin Buzz Lightyear on their DVD player. Now you might laugh, nut they just might be the youngest to get a SS 1000 inder their diaper.

-Todd

Mike Jackman just called (16:45). He's in the New Orleans area headed for Venice. He's been going nearly non-stop since the checkpoint. He plans to combine the rest bonuses into one long 7+ hour stop in about 3 hours. Once he has Venice, he'll collect what he can on the way back.

He's doing well, but the weather is turning ugly.

-Gary

A little more than 1/2 the riders who departed Two Jacks in Wilkes Barre, PA on Tuesday arrived at Salty's BBQ on the 4th of July. The requirement was to stay 30 minutes and get a picture with Salty. Three riders were already resting in the air conditioned basement of the bonus location - Scott's house - when
it opened. Provided with 3x5 cards with the arrival time on it, riders had to produce that card to get a checkout time and a signature after their 30 minutes
was up. Most riders took the time to lounge around and talk with other riders. Several riders didn't do much in the way of relaxing and remained in their gear
while chowing on the pulled pork, salads, burgers, hot dogs and fruit. Two riders took out laptops and rechecked or possibly replanned routes (there were
power outlets available everywhere).

Two other riders kept telling me they had to get a picture with Sally - I ensured them that was not the case - it never ceases to amaze me how riders think a
rallymaster will look them in the eye and flat out lie to them. A review of their rally book confirmed it was Salty not Sally - contrary to what other riders were
hypothesizing Salty was not the dog (that was Sammy), the parakeet or the iguana (neither of which I even own).

The riders appeared to be well rested and ready to move on with their journey once their 30 minutes had passed. Larry Ensley was the last rider to arrive and
did so just as Nick Emery was loading up to leave. Nick had extended his required 30 minutes a little with a power nap in the basement - his presence caused
a slightly frantic phone call from my daughter that there was a man sleeping in the basement - apparently she figured since I wasn't in the basement no one else
was either...

Seems Larry received a gash to his front tire while rolling out of a toll booth in Massachusetts. The tire blew out and he hobbled the bike to the side of the
road. A youngster on a crotch rocket pulled over and said he has a friend who runs a shop that might have a tire that would fit. Larry was all for anything that
would get him rolling again. After a couple phone calls Larry and the shop owner were on the side of the road with tire irons replacing his front tire. All on
the 4th of July holiday too.

If you are playing along at home, the following riders, in rider number order, stopped at Salty's for BBQ in Stafford, VA; Bob & Sylvia Torter, Andy Kirby,
Don Catterton, Kevin Healey, Charlie Huber, Colin Goodall, David Derrick, Bill Wade, Larry Ensley, Steve Branner, Reiner & Lisa Kappenberger, Ed Tillman, Peter
Behm, Nick Emery, Arlen Brunsvold, Jr., and Dick Peek

-scott

July 6, Last Day. Now we find out how pointy those teeth really are.

At last knowledge, the riders who went to Key West were on their way back. Most of the riders that headed to Venice we're either on their way back or on their way still there. Three riders took the Sauk Rapids bonus for a picture with Brett Donahue's pot bellied pigs. They were through earlier on the fifth. Al Ladner rolled into Rally HQ last evening and joined staff in the lounge swapping lies, etc.

Who will get bitten by the Beast? Riders are due in within the next 6 hours- things could get intense soon. more later.

You know how sometimes you feel you have to go for that one last bonus? Two riders (Dave Derrick and Andy Kirby) tried the Tatham Gap bonus; now we'll admit the coords were a tad off, the directions were close. Both riders passed up the actual bonus (the Tatham Gap Road interpretive sign) in search of something more challenging. Mostly uphill on a nasty road that even GL1800GS's won't tread on. They decided that even the BitEbastards wouldn't be that cruel and tried to return. That's when things started to get interesting. R-bikes that arent GS's can't turn off their ABS. Dave's clutch was on its last legs and this road wasnt helping. At some point during the decent, Dave's break fluid overheated, so now he has no brakes and a bad clutch. It was a matter of time before it went wrong. As the bike lay there in the dirt leaking fluids, Dave's only thought was "Call in to the rallymasters, call in" in a place with no cell service. Eventually, both Dave and Andy made it in; Dave unfortunately took a DNF on Leg 2.
At the finishers' banquet, riders were encouraged to tell their rally story. Perhaps the most moving was Rick Snyder and John Frick's tale of being near Chicago and seeing fireworks all over the place: from backyard roman candles thru the big commercial displays. Jim Owen left the place in stiches with his "plumbing" story. All this so thye could get their swag (shirts, messenger bags and BitE glasses)

Some riders wanted to know more details on the Seminole bonus. Well, here you are- enjoy.

When the dust settled, Jim Owen was on top. Final Standings are below. Until 2009, rider safe; the Beast is molting and goes back into hiding, deep in its lair.